Magickal Realism

To clarify, I did not read the ENTIRE Bible for this month. I read the books I previously had not, in the standard Protestant Bible, which leaves out the following books common to Catholic (secondary) canon, called collectively “The Apocrypha“. The books marked by strikethrough are also no longer regarded as sacred texts in Catholic tradition.
1 Esdras
2 Esdras
Additions to Esther
1 Macabees
2 Macabees
Tobias
Judith
Wisdom
Sirach
Baruch
Epistle of Jeremiah
Susanna
Prayer of Azariah
Prayer of Manasseh
Bel and the Dragon
Laodiceans

I still plan to read these books, but as far as honoring my cultural heritage goes, I’ve done my duty. By age 20, I read the entire New Testament and the Old Testament through Proverbs. I kind of stopped and started with the book of Jeremiah, but after dating a guy with that name and wanting to drop his ass in a well after the poor way he treated me, I lost interest in Bible reading for awhile. I had continued to read through my religious conversion, so ceasing to read the Bible was not directly related, and I still sometimes refer to Christian/Abrahamic texts in magical work. This is because the Bible has inherent power created through collective belief energy. This is also because the Bible is equaled only by Shakespeare in its influence on speech, thought and symbol in the West.

Now, at age 35, I can say I’ve read the entire Bible, and the majority of the US population would consider the Bible I read “complete.” It isn’t particularly world-changing to me; when you practice a religion “not of the book” you rapidly abandon scores of assumptions that are Bible based, starting with religious/moral discussions that refer to the Bible as an authority on how you should act. I still find it disturbing that so many who self-identity as atheist or agnostic and who actively resent what some Western interpretations of Christianity has done to their inner lives will, upon either telling me why I should NOT believe in God (which by itself is a violating activity) or why there’s a problem with my own theism will refer to the Bible. I know I repeat it a lot here, but I have to say it again: if you want to have a religious discussion with me, you can’t use the Bible.

If you want to discuss Christianity with me, of COURSE we’ll have to bring up the Bible. Just don’t expect me to defer to it. Especially now that I’ve read the whole thing.

One thing that I think even some Christians need to know about the Bible: all churches pick and choose the parts of the Bible/lessons to focus on. There are practical reasons for this:

The Bible isn’t one book, even though it’s packaged that way. The reason there is such a thing as Bible paper is to make paper thin enough to cram ALL those books between one binding without requiring a bookshelf of its own. The core of consistency errors comes from inconsistencies across books; within the books concepts remain consistent, but this makes the “it’s all literal/true/an indisputable fact!” an extremely fallible viewpoint, not to mention heavily laced with Western win/lose mentality that just makes an entire religion look bad when it’s really just a small group of crazy but deceptively loud individuals confusing what they’re given of evolution’s competitive instincts for faith and fervor.

The Bible may come from dead documents, but as you can see from the list above, even though thousands of years have passed, there is still an editorial and translation process. That means the Bible, like it or not, is a living document that changes. I have also heard it said that the Q’ran is actually meant to be a spoken-word only tradition with the book as backup so as to prevent change. I for one think the approach guarantees manipulation, but even in print, the Bible has had and still has manipulation aplenty. I am not questioning “God’s” integrity here; I’m questioning man’s.

Above all, if all Christian churches used those books packed after Proverbs and behind Matthew, no thinking, compassionate person who genuinely sees women as human beings would ever retain membership. The churches I went to either skipped the books altogether -we did NOT discuss Ezekiel, chose selectively from Daniel and Jonah, and more or less ignored Obeah, Obadiah, Micah, Jeremiah and the rest. There’s a good reason for it: the books drip with misogyny, and while no one invoked Eve’s sin, any bad behavior was female, even Israel was a “whore” and somehow all things saintly were the provence of men. Men in these books never experienced accountability, and were not punished for practicing the very things women are repeatedly (and I suspect in large numbers falsely) vilified for in these books. I do think, given that these are marked as “prophetic” books from prophets, that there was a certain self-fulfilling prophecy involved: if a man spoke of me like that, I might damn well take up the actions of a slattern, even while facing the very real possibility of getting stoned to death for adultery. At least that way I’d have some joy on my way out, and suicide by sex when surrounded with a culture apparently trained to be so abusive sounds about right.

Then again, I also sense that some of these rants are essentially works of fiction, or the ancient equivalent of bitching about your ex-girlfriend on your blog. Nowadays it would be utterly inexcusable, and I think it may be one of the greatest tragedies of our culture that we took these outright abusive books as holy writ. There are lots of self-important males (and some females, but still more males) carrying on about how the whole world is going to hell because people aren’t doing and acting exactly as the complainer dictates. Now such carrying on receives the scorn it deserves from those who are healthy enough to recognize that such behavior/carrying on merits scorn.

Apparently a few someones were clever enough to scribble their misogynist political rants on a scroll: I guess being literate automatically elevated these carryings-on past criticism or critical thought at the time it was written.

I feel like the prophetic books negate the value of the Bible as any kind of historical document (I don’t believe that it is not the “source work” or “historical record” it is painted to be, no matter how many begats Exodus lists)  and confirms my suspicions that while some divine wisdom may appear, the book comes from a human hand and is no more the word of God than is a billboard rant about the world ending tomorrow. If I am wrong in this, and there is actual fact to what lays buried in the books I read, then there’s the huge problem of an outright abusive deity, no longer concerned with the survival of a tribe and seemingly more concerned with behavior attributed wife abusers on PCP and crack cocaine. It definitely lends merit to the whole idea that other gods in that universe had to be factual – just because of the creepy, possessive, “if I can’t have you, I’ll kill you all!” competitive behavior. This, paired with the “I’m going to beat you and make you miserable, and save you while telling you you all suck!” is classic abusive behavior. Apparently this character especially fixated on Baal.

On the other hand, if there is historical record to this (cringe) there is something of value to Pagans, if you can stand the vitriol: it refers to Pagan traditions. Not only does Jeremiah speak of cakes for the Queen of Heaven, there is reference in other books to wearing armbands as a magical tradition, New Moon festivals, the value of astrologers and fortune tellers (we kind of knew that) and unique power held by women in the “Pagan” tribes denied to women in the Abrahamic tribes. Hosea’s condemnation of Pagan worship coughs up a few juicy details about the practice of pluralism.

Also, the non-vitriolic prophets, such as Jonah, actually expressed that they were NOT onboard with the crazy. This Biblical God responded abusively, as is to be expected, but two or three of these guys at least seemed to have a sense of perspective. Props to the good prophets.  Joel, Habakkuk, Jeremiah and Amos seemed more concerned with humanity, rather than with the “God is going to beat you all up for not being just like how I think you should be!” mentality dotting the other prophets. It seems Amos had the most complex relationship with this deity, often talking back in a way the other prophets did not seem to, and at one point after reporting harsh threats of destruction, going so far as to say “You’re better than this.” (It stuck with me, though the specific verse does not.) There were consequences for the backtalk – but it meant that the character of Amos did not just blindly accept the Word of God when the content of the Word threatened absolute death.

Most of this reading just confirms my belief that the best screen for a divinity is to ask questions. Every artists likes to answer questions about its creation; if a body insists on NOT being questioned then that being has no legitimate claim on Godhood.

Now I’m on to reading the Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse, and then back into my review stack.

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Wheel of Fortune card in the Tarot (move over Pat Sajack)

So, I’m still making my way through the “prophetic” books of the old Testament in the Good News Bible. I got sidetracked by origami, and loads of library books on that subject. In the meantime, I got to Ezekiel, which started off with this passage: (Ezekiel 1: 4-28)

4 And I looked, and, behold, a whirlwind came out of the north, a great cloud, and a fire infolding itself, and a brightness was about it, and out of the midst thereof as the colour of amber, out of the midst of the fire.

5 Also out of the midst thereof came the likeness of four living creatures. And this was their appearance; they had the likeness of a man.

6 And every one had four faces, and every one had four wings.

7 And their feet were straight feet; and the sole of their feet was like the sole of a calf’s foot: and they sparkled like the colour of burnished brass.

8 And they had the hands of a man under their wings on their four sides; and they four had their faces and their wings.

9 Their wings were joined one to another; they turned not when they went; they went every one straight forward.

10 As for the likeness of their faces, they four had the face of a man, and the face of a lion, on the right side: and they four had the face of an ox on the left side; they four also had the face of an eagle.

11 Thus were their faces: and their wings were stretched upward; two wings of every one were joined one to another, and two covered their bodies.

12 And they went every one straight forward: whither the spirit was to go, they went; and they turned not when they went.

13 As for the likeness of the living creatures, their appearance was like burning coals of fire, and like the appearance of lamps: it went up and down among the living creatures; and the fire was bright, and out of the fire went forth lightning.

14 And the living creatures ran and returned as the appearance of a flash of lightning.

15 Now as I beheld the living creatures, behold one wheel upon the earth by the living creatures, with his four faces.

16 The appearance of the wheels and their work was like unto the colour of a beryl: and they four had one likeness: and their appearance and their work was as it were a wheel in the middle of a wheel.

17 When they went, they went upon their four sides: and they turned not when they went.

18 As for their rings, they were so high that they were dreadful; and their rings were full of eyes round about them four.

19 And when the living creatures went, the wheels went by them: and when the living creatures were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up.

20 Whithersoever the spirit was to go, they went, thither was their spirit to go; and the wheels were lifted up over against them: for the spirit of the living creature was in the wheels.

21 When those went, these went; and when those stood, these stood; and when those were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up over against them: for the spirit of the living creature was in the wheels.

22 And the likeness of the firmament upon the heads of the living creature was as the colour of the terrible crystal, stretched forth over their heads above.

23 And under the firmament were their wings straight, the one toward the other: every one had two, which covered on this side, and every one had two, which covered on that side, their bodies.

24 And when they went, I heard the noise of their wings, like the noise of great waters, as the voice of the Almighty, the voice of speech, as the noise of an host: when they stood, they let down their wings.

25 And there was a voice from the firmament that was over their heads, when they stood, and had let down their wings.

26 And above the firmament that was over their heads was the likeness of a throne, as the appearance of a sapphire stone: and upon the likeness of the throne was the likeness as the appearance of a man above upon it.

27 And I saw as the colour of amber, as the appearance of fire round about within it, from the appearance of his loins even upward, and from the appearance of his loins even downward, I saw as it were the appearance of fire, and it had brightness round about.

28 As the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud in the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness round about. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. And when I saw it, I fell upon my face, and I heard a voice of one that spake.

And what that passage says to me? “WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!!”

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found amidst my books

I kicked off #30daysofreading by cleaning out my bookshelves – and I do still have books available, btw. I will be shipping out those reserved this weekend. Along with a nasty bout of hives (oh the joys of dust mites) I found the above tucked into books I could swear I’ve at least flipped through. This wasn’t all I found that didn’t belong to me – lots of crafter’s business cards made their way in, suggesting several individuals need to examine the “target” part of “target marketing.”  But the above, especially the photo? Not freakin’ clue.

The back of the boat photo says “Royal Viking Crew in Mexico 1983 Guadelope [sic] Island.” It also had a freaky vibe coming off it – you’d think the purple card would be worse – so I shredded it. Too bad, ’cause I’d love to know the story of the shirtless 80s stereotype there. Also, the number above is from before people did area codes, so Amy, wherever she is, I’m sure is safe – and since I’ve owned the book since around 2000, she is probably long gone.

Still, I’ve looked at and moved these books how many times over more than a decade – how is it I’m unearthing this stuff now???

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It would seem that as a person who practices a religion that firmly believes being a good person does not require a series of conflicting books and commandments might have no interest in reading the Bible. I kind of don’t, but I kind of do. Much of this comes back to my belief that this year, and perhaps a few years on either side of it, are about culmination for me. What follows may well offend those especially attached to Biblical views. I can do nothing about your beliefs, and regardless of what you might have been told last Sunday, there’s nothing to do about mine, so you may want to stop here.

My relationship with Christianity and with the Abrahamic overculture is complicated. I never resented Christianity, although I recognized that a)the religion kept evolving despite the best efforts of its leaders across all denominations and b)my mother got the idea that the beliefs of her children were the result of her influence alone¹ so when I converted, she not only took it personally, she responded to it as though I declared war on her. I held this behavior against my mother, not against Christianity. Her rampage and mad Bible quoting, however, did leave me disinclined to finish the book, despite cherishing the King James Bible I was given my 13th birthday. By the age of 20, I’d read all of the standard Protestant Bible – the entire New Testament, and the Old Testmant up to Ezekiel. Last week, I finished Ezekiel. Right now I’m plowing through Jeremiah. I’m on the fence about seeing out an Apocryphal Bible, but at some point, I probably will, and perhaps after age 40 I’ll read a complete translation of the Q’ran and the Torah.

The Bible, out of all the things that define Christianity, may be the place to pinpoint why I am not Christian. It’s a shame I have to put it in terms of what I am not, because of the overculture. Sadly, most atheists also define themselves in terms of why they are not Christian, rather than simply saying “Belief is not in me.” The Christian context in US culture is inescapable, and the more I hear whining about its disappearance, the more I know that not only is it just fine, it’s got enough power that it may well someday eat the Bill of Rights.

I went to college still doing my absolute best to be a good person, and I did that within a Christian context. I believed absolutely in the resurrection of Jesus. But I also strongly believed that massive chunks of Christianity were not divine, and were in fact the machinations of human prejudice snuck into a book called the Bible – because being told not to question something, especially something as unverifiable as the word of God, is fishy. My mother’s insistence it was the “best historical record of the time” still sounds crazy to me, especially after taking multiple world history classes. You can write fiction in an accurate historical setting now, I’m sure the human hand was capable back then, too. I’d never dream of writing about life in Chicago without a street map, somebody darn well could have done the same with Bethlehem.

It got even fishier when I noticed massive inconsistencies between stuff Jesus said and stuff Paul demanded not only didn’t look like an improvement, a lot of it seemed intent on stripping the very people Jesus gave power to of the power he gifted. This included a lot of women. The more restrictive the version of Christianity, the more I suspected outright manipulation by a male hand for ultimately evil purposes – and except in a specific circumstance of consensual sex, I consider ALL domination if not evil than pretty damned borderline. Nearly all acts of sexual violence and physical abuse and all psychological abuse is about domination. So the entire idea of “dominating the earth” and “being submissive to your husband” translates to my mind – and this was originally to my Christian mind – as “someone who wanted to get away with crime inserted a bunch of crap in here and then told everyone it was the word of God.” Why? Because “being submissive” promotes being a victim. A WORLD of no. If that’s your private life, party on – but expecting the whole world to live that way is wishing for the circumstances we have now, that while improved, still needs centuries of work.

I’ve had a running dialogue with God/ess since I was 8. It’s not like Look Whose Talking or Bruce Almighty, and yes, it could be a matter of my biochemistry doing strange things to my perceptions. There’s even evidence that those of us inclined toward religion may be able to help that inclination as much as we can help our sexual orientation. Strange things happen with your perceptions, too, you know. One thing I’ve noticed that makes me believe I’m conversing with an external influence is that God/ess just doesn’t care about a lot of the stuff humans spend a great deal of time caring about. It’s not that God/ess doesn’t care – I’ve been stunned at the seemingly minute things I’ve “received” messages on.² But when it comes to stuff like abortion, who and what gender we have sex with, prostitution, how we get high (there is expressed concern over what we DO when we get high, I noticed) – God/ess seems to point to nature as the system in place, says if it’s found in nature or nature can bring it about, it exists for a reason, and the controls we place on it otherwise is a load of human-driven political bullocks.

So, if I think that the Bible is mostly political bullshit intent on suppressing women in particular but a whole lot of people in general, why am I reading it?

Good question. First, unless a book is beyond awful, I finish every book I start. I’ve read maybe two that were so bad I put them away unfinished in my life.

Also, because of that word mostly. While I’ve come to understand Christ as not a one-and-only title,³ and I’ve seen compelling evidence against the physical existence of Jesus, the gospel had something to it. There are also moments of artistry throughout the book – pure, human artistry, but art is evidence of a connection to the Divine, whether you do it commercially or for its own sake.

Here and there, there is wisdom. I have to remember that the Bible first off is not one book, but a series of books – and thus consistency is impossible, because it’s not just one “Divine voice” but a bunch of guys, writing stuff down at different times, and some of it may well be fiction.

The other reason is because the Bible has inescapably influenced the culture I live in. Most adults, even the ones that complain that they’re persecuted for being Christian – often by other Christians who practice it differently – grew up with some sort of Biblical framework. All sorts of phrases, from “Pearls before swine” “Carved in stone” and “Dead guy on a stick day” derive from Biblical reference. Understanding the origins of the phrases can help understand not just what people mean with deeper context,  but hint at the way an individual looks at the world. At the same time, I’ve sat in many, many Christian church services over the years. There are quite a few that got angry when they’d quote a Bible verse, and I’d look it up only to discover a massive, manipulative misquote. The more fundamentalist the preacher, the less he wanted me checking his work. Also, the angrier he got, the more likely he was to get caught in a sex scandal of depravity on par with the rage he directed at me for questioning him as a human being rather than as an authority of God.

Reading the Bible will never negate my need to flip off the people who try to argue a point with me using the phrase “the Bible says…” because to me, it’s a way of passing off responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings. Reading the Bible is not going to suddenly bring me back to Christianity. What it will do is leave me informed on one of the core texts that influences our culture, be less fun than when I (will) read the complete works of Shakespeare, and lay it down: I’ve read the entire Protestant Bible. To some, it’s an accomplishment.

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children having free will and their own experiences, and a basic human right to make their own decisions after age 17, did not occur to her when it came to her childrenNothing that would be earth shattering or nationally significant. Prophecy it ain’t.Christ means “anointed one” and let’s just say that the olive oil got spread pretty thick throughout history.

It’s Pagan Values month – and #30daysofreading. Here’s hoping I can bring you blogs about both each day.

To herald #30daysofreading, that kicks off today, I decided to clean out my bookshelves (sure, let’s go with that as why.) Along with finally giving up on books I’ve owned more than 15 years and have yet to crack, I also found items in books I could swear I flipped through in the past. For some reason, though, this round of cleaning revealed ticket stubs, notecards from bookstores and a somewhat homoerotic photo from a boat trip in 1983. None of these items originated from me. Sadly, my scanner is on the fritz, so I may have to arrange them in my lightbox for a photo shoot.

If you’re local to Minneapolis and you’re looking for something to read, I invite you to peruse the list below. Some of these I’ve read. Most, I haven’t.

The list:

The Middle East – Congressional Quarterly Parapsychology and the Nature of Life by John L. Randall Body, Mind, Behavior by Maggie Scarf Jesus the Magician by Morton Smith The Morning Magicians by Louis Pawels and Jacques Bergier The Ancient Near East by Amelie Kuhrt Understanding Other Persons by Theodore Mischel Liminal (Spring 2006, lit mag) The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris Moses and Monotheism by Sigmund Freud The Last Three Minutes by Paul Davies Ecstatic Ritual by Brandy Williams Quantum Sorcery by Dave Smith Space/Time Magic by Taylor Ellwood Kernel Projects for Linus by Gary Nutt (Mike’s, obviously) Fighting Invisible Tigers by Earl Hipp Lonely Planet Guide to Egypt – 2002 Psychic Politics by Jane Roberts I Come as a Brother by Bartholomew Women’s Voices in Magic ed. Brandy Williams The Suflower: ON the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness by Simon Wiesenthal The Four Translation New Testament The Art of Sexual Magic by Margo Anand Chaldean Magic: Its Origin and Development by Francois Lenormant Fang Fur Blood and Bone by Lupa Skin Spirits by Lupa Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer Moonrise: the Power of Women Leading from the Heart ed by Nina Simons How to Talk Dirty and Influence People by Lenny Bruce Sacred Sage: How it Heals by Siver Wolf Walks Alone A Bard’s Book of Pagans Songs by Hugin the Bard Goddess Meditations by Barbara Ardinger The Lightworkers’ Circle Guide by Wendy Stokes Primitive Magic: the Psychic Powers of Shamans and Sorcerors by Ernesto de Martino Pop Culture Grimoire by Taylor Ellwood Apprentice to Power: a Wiccan Odyssey to Spiritual Awakening by Timoty Roderick Witchcraft Today by Gerald B. Gardner Slow Sex by Diana Richardson Cultural Sciences: Their Origin and Development by Florian Znainiecki Silver’s Spells for Prosperity by Silver Ravenwolf The Invisible Partners: how the Male and Female in each of Us Affects our Relationships by John A. Sanford The Serena Technique of Belldyancing by Serena and Alan Wilson The Trojan War by Olivia Coolidge BulletProof Coffin comic books #4 and #5 The Feminine in Fairytales by ML von Franz The Book of Kells (mini book with explanations of images) Psychic Sourcebook: How to Choose and Use a Psychic by Frederick G. Levine The Theory and Practice of Archaeology: a Workbook by Thomas C. Patterson (2nd ed.) Customizing the Body: the Art and Culture of Tattooing Health and the Honeybee by Charles Mraz Philosophy of Religion — Steven M. Cahn ed. Witchcraft on a Shoestring: Practicing the Craft without Breaking Your Budget by Deborah Blake The American Indian and the Media Life After Life by Raymond A. Moody Jr. The Bhagavad Gita Catch-22 by Joseph Heller Spiritus Mundi: Essays on Literature, Myth and Society by Northrop Frye The Passions of the Mind by Irving Stone How Good Do We Have to Be by Harold S. Kushner Sleep: an Active Process by Wilse B. Webb Social Ministry by Dieter T. Hessel Middle Egyptian – an Introduction to Hieroglyphs

If you want something, let me know when you can pick it up and I’ll set it aside for you. If you want me to mail it to you, send me a comment or an email.

As for what I’m reading? A cheater start. I’ve read the entire Protestant Bible except for the end of the Old Testament. I’ve finished Isiah, and I’m well into Jeremiah now. I also have two books to review for Facing North – and then, I will post a picture of my too read shelf, which can’t fit everything in my home I’ve yet to read.

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