Perfumes and Celebrity – a perspective from a niche perfumer on why celebrity branding is completely out of touch

I have this recurring daydream/fantasy nightmare:

I have achieved my dream of establishing a perfumery in the Warehouse district in Minneapolis, and for whatever reason I’m out front working in the retail section of my fantasy shop (I suppose that I’m a kindhearted perfume overlord and would actually give my minions the night off – and stuff like health insurance.)

So there I am, alone, surrounded by long glass cases with bottles underneath (seriously, I need to put some fantasy energy into display while I’m at it.) In walks Paris Hilton, with her entourage.

Ugh.

You need to know, I hate Paris Hilton the brand and I’m none too impressed with Paris Hilton the human being. Only she could make the Hilton name seem like something you’d find in the bottom bin at DollarTree.

Still, there’s evidence that she’s got a brain. I just see no evidence of a soul to go with it.

So, she walks into my shop and she wants to shop my perfumes. And maybe she wants a custom job.

I can imagine the conversation.

Paris: I want something that expresses who I am.

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t work with synthetics.

I think that celebrity perfumes are one of the great plagues of the marketplace. I regularly get asked to – and usually refuse – to do knock-offs of mainstream market perfumes. Not once has anyone requested a knock-off of a celebrity perfume. They’re throw-away scents, utterly forgettable and their marketing is decades out of touch with the American perfume consumer.

People want something they can imagine, something that expresses themselves. If this were the 1960s and before, yes, women would want to imitate their favorite movie stars, the 70s and 80s add musicians. But now? The fun of watching celebrity is to see human train wrecks walking around with lots of money and fame – and still screwing up their lives. Consumers don’t want the stink of hot mess on themselves – they like watching it sterile, through their TVs.

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