I’m in Hawaii for their version of winter – gigantic avocados, gorgeous ocean views, fruits that cycle through blossom-and-fruit on a much more frequent than annual scale… and I’m wondering why, with all this tropical abundance, that there aren’t more tropical production/perfume houses right here. This is a lovely honeymoon, indeed, and I’m aware that most of the island is geared for tourists – in part because most of it is preserved state park. There’s one highway for the entire island, and it’s important to take the speed limits seriously as there’s some death-defying cliff faces a la Needles Highway in South Dakota.
My sweetie and I have elected to stay in a condo unit – about half the units are owned/rented by locals who work at the resorts. Yes, it’s a planned community, but not everyone here is wealthy, and it’s obvious. So we’re not getting the carefully sanitized version of Hawaii/Kauai that some might get. The condo’s furniture is all teak wood (a smell I don’t like, as it reminds me of unhappy and dusty things) and has the “for tourists” feel – it looks like it’s been decorated by a Hawaiian grandmother. Chickens run wild on the island, and this complex is blessed with about three roosters. The roosters continue to crow throughout the morning. I remember pretty clearly what’s required to slaughter a chicken. Given local food prices I’m surprised more locals haven’t just done this themselves – the chickens are becoming a pest situation, and they are an abundant source of food.
About the Food
Chickens are a problem. From walking around a rental unit within the condo complex, I also know that cockroaches and centipedes are a problem. I couldn’t take a picture – copryight – but one local artist did a depiction of a local homeowner fighting off the zombie hordes of chickens, and a local told me she often invited her friend’s dog over to get rid of the damn things. Food is expensive, and the reason it is is because of American jingoism – way too much gets shipped in from the mainland because the tourists and island imports aren’t willing to adjust. Basically, if it comes from a cow, it costs a huge premium. After exploring a coop, the Princeville Foodland (where a basic run cost $50, that would have been under $30 in Minneapolis) and comparing it to a slightly more discount friendly area in Hana Li, (I don’t know the spellings) I pretty well proved my theory: while eating “local” is more expensive in Minnesota, eating “local” is far more affordable in Hawaii. Expect even fast food restaurants – if you can find them – to charge an arm and a leg. A shared dessert and two drinks last night cost $40. The pizza we ordered cost about the same. The upside of this is that much of the restaurant food is cooked from scratch – if the pizza place had used my own crust recipe it really would have been the best pizza I’ve ever had. Also, since Hawaii produces sugar, locally bottled products almost never use corn syrup so I have relatively little to worry about.
If you’re going to eat in Hawaii, you’re in the best shape if you’re vegan. A good chunk of the original jungle still exists, and the fruit is all pretty much edible. If you are more omnivorous, your best bets are rice (it’s grown here), local fruits – buy from fruit stands, not grocery stores – pork, and chicken. If you can handle the mess, chicken is free. Otherwise it’s priced pretty cheaply at even the really gouging grocery stores. If you keep ANYTHING containing sugar in your space, make sure you have it in a ziplock bag, and try to bring the ziplocks with you from the mainland.
And if you must drink soda, consider Vitamin Water products. They cost the same as they do on the mainland. I think they may be bottled in Maui or something.
Never have I been more aware that space is at a premium and waste is a serious issue. The non-tourist grocery store was giving away HUGE free reusable bags if you signed a pledge that you would continue to use them. I bought expensive (but incredibly good) flip flops from the Flop Shop, which is predicated on being made from 100% recycled materials. There are no bookstores, no movie theaters, and almost no chain stores on Kauai, at least not around Princeville. There is a behind-the-run theater in Lihue (where the airport is) and it seems like the only chain that really has a foothold here is Subway – but they have to share space with something geared towards Hawaii specifically.
I’m shamefully unversed in the history of Hawaii. Something about a queen saying “sure, take it” to the US military, and my grandfather losing a beloved cousin in Pearl Harbor. I know that most of the islands are technically part of a national park, and that Kauai is very deliberately the slowest of the islands – no nightlife here, not even really in the resorts.
I can see physically that almost everyone is racially mixed, and that people don’t bridle at stuff here. Also, my being Wiccan is so not a big deal that the grocery vending machine sells Isis pendants and pentagrams. The two Christian churches I saw off the state highway? Episcopal and United Church of Christ. Tolerance, tolerance, tolerance. I know Scott Cunningham wrote about the Huna religion, but I don’t even know where I’d begin to ask about that. I’d feel like an ass walking up to one of the tiki carvers and just asking – religion is so private, and my being public about mine wasn’t initially my choice – in my case it’s penny for a pound. But in someone else’s case, maybe not, not even here where it seems the natives are wonderfully accepting as long as you demonstrate you’re willing to preserve the island along with them.
The Hiking Incident
I can feel the island breathing and thinking – it’s alive in a primal and terrifying way. Mike talked me into ignoring a trail sign yesterday that said “this trail is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.” Down we went, flip flops and all. We did make it within sight of the secluded beach, but it was a six foot drop to get to the shore and I started crying (and as many friends can attest to, I am NOT a cryer. I was THAT terrified) – we were dangerously close to the edge of the ocean which was most certainly not calm yesterday, and while the rocks were mostly porous volcano rock, they’d still mess you up if you hit them on the way down. I don’t care what the other hikers said, it was SO not worth the dangerous trip, especially not in the shoes we were wearing. And Mike sure as hell better take the island signs seriously now. When you’re the sort who can hear land and sea having thoughts about whether you’re a worthy meal or a worthy life form, adrenaline chasing rapidly loses its appeal. And if you’ve read Dione Fortune’s the Sea Priestess, all bets are off.
All bridges are one lane, and it’s a debated courtesy about yielding. If you hesitate, you lose – and it’s suggested you give vehicles larger than yours the right of way. Lots of hippies are here. LOTS. It’s entirely possible to live off the land in the jungle.
Waste and land scarcity is so much of a problem that the more affordable grocery store in Hana Lei is giving away HUGE reusable bags if people will sign a pledge promising to continue to use them. The Flop shop also wrapped everything in a reusable drawstring bag that’s actually perfect for my purse size, so I can use it for smaller purchases that I’m not OK with leaving loose in my purse. Eco friendly isn’t just a virtue in Hawaii – it’s not about the green trend, it’s about ensuring survival in a visible and physical way.
So my conclusions thus far:
- This place needs a bookstore. Mike thinks that a movie theater would take up too much space. There is a public library, but nowadays, with print on demand, I think there could be a decent workaround and Hawaii is the perfect place for it.
- I need to make an offering to the island. It knows I know it’s alive and has opinions, and this means I’m required to observe certain courtesies of guest towards host.
- There is likely no such thing as an out of shape Hawaiian native. Yes, there are a few fat people, but you can be damn sure they’re quite fit. Nobody can afford to overeat here and even if you’re not into surfing and swimming, you pretty much have to hike everywhere. And I say this with free access to a car.
- This place is ripe for a perfumery, but only a microperfumery. I vaguely recall something about the Dole family owning all the land, so you can own a house but you still have to rent the land it sits on. And if you’re going to live in Hawaii, it’s in your best interests to figure out a way to grow your own food, but check against the agriculture department all the time – one invasive species could wipe out the islands.
