Chapter 12: Recovering a Sense of Faith: the God Jar
Image by Caro Wallis via Flickr
One of the most liberating things in the world is to create something without any concern on your first, second or third try about being good at it. In fact, this is how I can smoke out my crazymakers right away: in a no-stakes creative process a person insisting I do things “right” when it’s clear I’m already having a good time is definitely trouble. I can think of plenty examples, and I don’t need to name them. It’s normal to be bad at something until you’re good at it. It’s a writer’s rule: there’s nothing wrong with writing badly; it’s when you rewrite badly that there’s an issue. On your first draft you get out your fantasies and ya-yas; it’s on the following drafts, when you’re perfecting it, that actual perfection matters – and then, you’re perfecting an already finished product, so your inner critic and well-placed outer critics actually serve a purpose rather than just stopping you from being creative.
Here is my GOD jar. It’s got “Good Orderly Direction” painted in Crayola ™ gel paint and yes, it is a hot mess. I had the best time preparing that hot mess. Much like the spellbook earlier this week, I feel an undercurrent of glee at the horror by which others might receive it – their reaction just furthers my entertainment.
The intent of the jar is to give some storage to my personal demons, who will be neatly written on a piece of that incense paper I make and then burned in a monthly or semi-monthly ritual. The G.O.D jar is a good tool for me – it gives me a physical way to rip my obsessions out of my head and put them somewhere where I can keep their energy while losing their useless aspects.
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[...] place, I can recognize that and say “not my problem, buddy.” I put the crazymaker in my God Jar, and I move on. They have no power over me, and the fact that they want some tells me clearly [...]