The people at Mayo Clinic decided that if I was well enough to mention Geneva convention laws, I was well enough to have a computer and what amounts to a vacuum sealed room. They’re leaving me trays of food, but nothing smells appetizing – and relax, no one smells appetizing. My stomach was pumped…more humiliation [...]

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So, I’m now locked in a room on the top floor of Abbot Northwestern. I had a bit of a … lapse. I was hungry. There was a disembodied head. I ate it while it cursed at me. I don’t want to eat anybody else’s brain. I just have a taste for zombies now. It’s [...]

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The ghost is a man named Doctor Z. I like him. I always like ghosts. They make more sense to me than the living. But now I’m an extra sad, a different sad as things run out of my body in the most public humiliation I’ve had since junior high. There aren’t many souls left. [...]

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Joel has reassured me that, after everything I’ve done to and for him this year, he would be quite pleased to have the honor of shooting me in the head if it becomes necessary. I had to prod very insistently for the “only if it’s necessary” clause. So, before we engage in the procedure, the [...]

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Opening the file, and reading – after all those pokes, and prods, and needles: Results Are Inconclusive. The ghost doctor was the expert, the disembodied head was his assistant, and he’s pretty sure the reason they got nailed with the zombie-virus first is because of my tests. So the question is: do I reopen the [...]

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Since this morning Joel and I have managed to cross the street, work our way through the hospital, and found our way to the roof. There are five doctors up there, three living, two dead, all conscious, one a ghost and one a disembodied zombie head that the “expert in mortuary health” insists upon keeping. [...]

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Zombies, in fact, are quite real. A practice originated in Haiti and now carried out in other parts of the Caribbean as one of the consequences of diaspora, zombification is quite arguably a fate worse than death. It is, in Bizango1 society, a way of handling criminals. If we didn’t have that pesky “cruel and [...]

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The nice thing about living on the block with the most drug dealers per capita in Minneapolis is that no one, criminal or legit, fucks around trying to be a hero. This may also be why we haven’t seen a single zombie yet. I just know they’re there. I can smell them, even in the [...]

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Joel called me up on the roof about half an hour ago. Our neighborhood is still a ghost town – I can see people shuffling, and I can smell burning. It looks like the US Bank Building is up in flames. So much for that property sale. What’s getting me is the absolute blackness of [...]

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OK, before I shoot a helicopter pilot in the face, I really really should make sure said pilot shuts OFF the helicopter first. By now the battery has worn out or whatever, and I’m amazed that mine was the only gun fired, especially given the noise. When you live on this part of Chicago Avenue, [...]

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